You know, lately I've been thinking a lot about this past year, with it being the end of it and all. As I was thinking about everything that's happened, I stopped and was absolutely stunned. So much has happened, good and bad, this past year, but everything that's happened has 1. happened for a reason and 2. made me a better person for it, I believe.

I know it's going to be a good Christmas just b/c I got the one thing that I've wanted for almost 8 months now. It's not anything that I can use or touch but it meant more to me than anything that I will ever get I do believe. Forgiveness, love, and support. I know you're thinking, "Could you cheese it up anymore?" But seriously, I never thought I would ever have that with one specific very important person especially.

This Christmas I'm focusing more on the actual reason behind it and just enjoying the company of my family than what I'm going to be getting. To be very honest, this is one of the best Christmases I've had in a very very long time.

I hope everyone has an especially Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!!

Well, I got my tongue pierced, but I have nothing to show for it. Apparently the chick that did it lost the whole, soooooo, I'm not going back to her. I am, however, getting it redone, I'm not going through all that damn pain with nothing to show for it.

Josh has been in Ohio for about 2 weeks and it really sucks. I miss him. It's sad, pathetic, but true. I've gotten used to his company. Joe is moving out, that will be better for him and everyone else.

I may be getting a new job sitting with old people, getting to watch t.v., read, smoke, do whatever. I pretty much will be getting paid to do jack shit. Plus it'll be a little bit more money and that will help me out.

Everyone is coming in for Christmas and it's all very exciting. Speaking of Christmas, I can't believe it's in 5 days. I've not even started my shopping, actually I probably won't even do my shopping until after Christmas.


Umm..I believe that's it for now.

Holy cow! It's been a really really long time since I last updated. Just to let everyone know I'm alive and because I'm very bored, I decided to post this little thingy that I stole off of Erica and Drew.

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. When you're finished tag some other people to do it!

Opening Credits
What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts (Very depressing opening credits...)

Waking Up
Get Stoned - Hinder

First Day of School
Coin Operated Boy - Dresden Dolls

Falling in Love
Personal Jesus - Marilyn Manson

Fight Song
The Night the Lights went out in Georgia - Reba McEntire

Breaking Up
Hotel California - The Eagles

Prom
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Life
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

Driving
Far Away - Nickelback

Flashback
Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd

Getting Back Together
Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado

Wedding
Cocaine Blues - Johnny Cash

Party
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood

Birth of A Child
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake

Final Battle
Wind It Up - Gwen Stefani

Funeral Song
Can't Help Falling in Love - Elvis Presley

Ending Credits
White and Nerdy - Weird Al

Additional Faina Feature: The Ballin it up Song-
I'm Movin On - Rascal Flatts


Damn, the soundtrack to my movie is extremely depressing and also kinda sucks. Haha.

Tell me. Just tell me. Why are guys such dickheads????

I mean, seriously. I want to know what I've done to deserve some of the shit that I've been put through. I want to know why he doesn't trust me, I want to know why he thinks that he can ridicule me the way he does, I want to know why he takes EVERYTHING out on me. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so, then why can't he tell me?


I never understood guys all that well, but I always got to a point to where I could, but with this one, he just keeps suprising me. I don't get him...AT ALL. I feel like I can't do anything right by him, everything I do is just not good enough and I have no way of knowing how to fix it. He won't tell me how to, or what the fucking problem is.


I don't know. I'm frustrated. Shit. I gotta go back to work.


Motherfucker.

Hi, I'm Kelli Arwood and a few years ago I dropped out of school. I was a user, abuser and a loser, but now I'm back in school and though the faces may have changed the situations are still the same....

*cue Strangers with Candy music*


You got it. I'm back at good ole Walter State. I'm not all that excited about it b/c I have to wake up at 6:30 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning, BUT my inner nerd/geek/studious chica is extremely excited. I don't really know why.


God, I hope this semester doesn't go like the majority of all my previous semesters. It won't. I won't let it. I just have to go to class. Go to class, Kelli, go to class and you'll be fine.

I'm actually a little proud and suprised at myself b/c honestly I never thought I'd go back. Josh is proud of me too. Plus it gives me something to do during the day instead of watching reruns of FRIENDS over and over again while Josh is at work.

I'm all moved in. It's pretty rad. Everything is coming together very nicely, just the minor things we gotta put away and a few decorating dealies and we're done.

Well...I'd better go to my last class of the day. Woot. :) It's English, it shouldn't be too bad.

Welllllll....Kelli is about to be completely on her own. As of Sunday. Woot!!!!


It's all quite exciting. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, fireplace, balcony and patio. It's a gonna be RAD!


I can't believe Kelli is growing up and growing up fast. It's insane. She even thinks she's so grown up that she can actually live with a B-O-Y. I know! I know. It's all pretty crazy.



Needless to say, other than a few minor setbacks with a few minor people, I'm completely happy. I'm going back to school, thank the good Lord, moving out, thank the good Lord, and have a very good group of friends and a family who loves me no matter what.


Welp, I figured I'd update, since I hadn't a very long time. That's my update. If you wanna hang out, just call me.

You know? It hit me like a 2x4 to the head that I've done a lot of growing up over the summer. I'm an adult, finally. I can make my own decisions, finally. I don't have to care what others have to say b/c their opinion doesn't matter, the only opinion that matters is mine and those that are the closest to me.


I've also learned that you certainly can't please everyone so you just have to say "fuck it" sometimes. That's probably been the hardest lesson for me. I can't please everyone, and I'm not going to. I've come to learn that the hard way.


Another thing I've learned is that you don't ever really know who your true friends are. I learned that the hard way too. Some people are just two-faced and selfish and that's all they'll ever be in life. That and they won't ever amount to a pile of shit.


Family is all that you can count on. If you can't count on them, who can you count on? Luckily, I have a mother and a daddy who love me no matter what I do. I disappoint them on a regular basis and yet, they are still there for me. I'm in the process of learning that. I love my family deeply and some people can't see that and that makes me sad.


There are past mistakes that you will regret for the rest of your life, whether that be an ex-boyfriend you wish you hadn't hurt so much or schooling that you fucked up or just the fact that you know you've hurt the people you love the most in life deeply, but you can't let that get you down. You have to just keep living your life the best way you know how.


I'm 21 years old and though some people may beg to differ, I feel that I've matured so much more in the past 8 months than I have in my entire life. I'm proud of myself for the first time in a very long time and I'm happy. Some of my relationships with people may not be that wonderful to say the very least but I'm living my life the way I want to for the first time in a long time.


I have goals. I have expectations. I know they're going to take me longer than a lot of people, but I know that they will be reached.


I love my friends dearly, but there are just sometimes that they don't need to know everything in my life. I'm a more private person now b/c if you want any sort of actual happiness you can't tell everything to everybody. Sometimes its just none of their fucking business.


I'm gonna get hurt a long the way, I know that. I'm experiencing that right this very minute. I know that I'm a strong person. I know that I'm going to do great things with my life, maybe not what some want out of me or expect out of me, but I WILL do great things. I've got my independence and I'm happy about that. I'm not gonna say that it scares the shit out of me, but it excites the fuck out of me as well.


Those who think that I'm not worth shit are only reflecting their own flaws onto me and I'm better than that. It'll kill me inside, especially since I thought they were as close to me as what I thought they were, but sometimes I'm wrong. But I cut my losses and I'm better for it. Sometimes I just gotta say, "Fuck You." and move on with my life and they'll get what they wanted all a long.


I don't wish the loss of a good friend on anyone especially the way I lost a good friend tonight. But sometimes its better to find the truth out the hard way rather than you not knowing how they really feel about you.


I'm fine. Shit has happened and it's all been my own choice. I love my family and I love the very few friends I have so much, so much they'll never know what I'd do for them.


Sometimes you know when to leave and sometimes you know when to stay. It's time for me to leave....



...and that's exactly what I'm doing.

Happy belated 4th everybody! Mine pretty much sucked but that's o.k. b/c I got to spend it with people that I enjoyed being around.

This week has not been a good thus far. Shit has happened and it's not been cool. But that's o.k. b/c things will get better.

Things with me and Josh are good. We've not fought yet, but we have gotten snappy with each other but we always feel bad for it so we apologize right afterwards. Hehe. I can't help but really like him, I know he's got a good head on his shoulders and hell, at least he tries, unlike a lot of people I know out there.

We had the parental meeting on Saturday. Well, not just the parents, the grandparents and then aunt,uncle and cousins were all there. Everybody absolutely loved him. He was a big hit. Which made me happy, I have to admit, I was slightly worried about what they would think of him simply b/c they go off first impressions and if their first impression isn't a good one then they don't like you, and my mom's first impression of him was not a good one so I was slightly worried about that. But everything turned out for the good. :)


Kelli is moving out, pronto. I've got my money saved up, I've got boxes lined up to get, I've even got a roommate lined up, all I need to do now is actually find a decent affordable place in a nice neighborhood with a garage. Is that too much to ask??? I didn't think so.
I'm super excited about it. I know it'll be extremely hard, but like I told Mom, I feel like I'm actually a grown up and am responsible now and have direction and I just feel that this is the next step for me to do. And so I am. She's pissed about it, but I'm 21 and I can't live at home forever.

Well, I'm at work and I'm bored but I should probably get off the computer and try to find something to do.

Things have been going greatly for me as of late. Been doin the whole having way too much fun and not enough work thing. I have a lot of shit to do and I've put it off until the very last minute, but it will be ok b/c I know it'll all get done.

Things with me and Josh are heating up quite nicely if I do say so myself. I like him a lot and I really want it to work out. He's just all around a great guy and we have so much in common. Plus he's just so damn pretty. I can't get over it. I've had a crush on him since the first time I ever met him and now we're dating?!? It's just crazy the way things turn out.

I rode my first motorcycle on Sunday and it was absolutely amazing. I loved it, I know it's dangerous, but it's so much fun. I got hit on by a REALLY HOT Polish girl sunday night. Well, I should say me and Josh got hit on by a REALLY HOT Polish girl sunday night. It was like straight out of a porno hot. That shit don't happen in real life. Hotness.....so much hotness....

Mom has been interrogating me about Josh and I think it's funny. She's so cute when she's curious. They met for the first time the other day and she got mad b/c she wasn't looking her best. It was pretty funny. Oh, Momma and her first impressions. Haha.

I've not really talked to Eric lately, and honestly that's the way I like it. Things have been so much easier without him. I don't worry about his problems anymore. He just makes things hard for me, especially now with the whole Josh thing. I know he's hurt right and I hate that, but, I don't know. I just want him to move on for his own happiness. I'm happy, now I just want him to be happy without me. That's all i want for him, I just want him to be happy, but then again he also needs to know that he doesn't need me to be happy. Argh...I don't know. ha.

I kinda feel bad b/c I've not really hung out with any of my friends lately b/c I spend all of my time with Josh. I can't help it. I do feel bad for John though, I miss John, I miss John a lot. I dont't want to give up my friends and I'm definately not, I'm just having a really good time elsewhere right now.

*sigh* I think I'm depressing myself. I'm just frustrated tonight and I want it to be over with. So I think I'm going to go to bed and hope that tomorrow comes fast. :)

So....Kelli got a "Friends" trivia game and Sonic the Hedgehog on her phone to play while she's at work doing jack shit and getting paid for it. Woot! I rock. :)



This week has been amazing aside from a little bit of emotional schtuff,but then again what girl doesn't go through emotional schtuff? Me and Josh are hanging out and it's pretty rad. He's pretty and he thinks I'm pretty so......woot!



What about Eric, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. We're over and I really hate to say it, but we are. We're just not good together and it took me 3 1/2 years to figure that one out. We brought each other down. I was always mad at him for some stupid reason and well, now that we're not together, I'm not mad at anyone. People like me better. I actually saw a friend who I've not seen or talked to in months and she told me that she'd never seen me happier. In a way it made me sad b/c me and Eric were together for so long and at one time he made me extremely happy, I just got a twinge of pain when I heard that come out of her mouth simply b/c I never realized that I wasn't completely happy. I even enjoy myself more. I'm my happy-go-lucky self again. Don't get me wrong, I'll always love Eric. He's my best friend, I just can't date him. And as crazy as it may sound, this time it doesn't feel like all the other times we broke up. I have a sense of finality and happiness and peace about it all.



Anywho, enough about that. Yay for Erica being happy. I got the good news a few days ago, and I keep meaning to tell her how happy I am for her, but I always forget. So, dude, I am so so so so happy for you and if you move to Cali, you'd better let me come visit! :) I don't care that he may or may not be sexually attracted to other men, just as long as he makes you happy, then I like him. :)



Otay, Kelli's gonna go play more Sonic and then go smoke a cigadoo....

Woot! Kelli is a happy girl.



I don't have a car....stupid water pump is busted...completly. Which sucks, but that's otay b/c I've not been this happy in a very long time.


I'm sitting here at work with nothing at all to do but this. Technically, I'm not supposed to be on the internet, but oh well. I've been sitting with shit to do for about 3 hours now. Now, I'm just playing the waiting game.


Ope, gonna have to get to work. More later.

This past week has been totally crazy! I got to see Corey, who, by the way, I've not seen or really talked to for 2 years. That was really awesome. I've had way too much fun what with parents being out of town to camping. But I'll get to that later.

Seeing Corey was absolutely amazing. It was like nothing had changed and we just picked up where we left off. He looks goooooood too. Haha. It was just really good seeing him.


Me and Eric are broken up again, and have been for about a month now. It's very very good for me. We won't get back together. I'm o.k. with that. Very much o.k. with that. I still love him, not in the same way. He's got a whole lot of growing up to do and towards the end it got to be really bad. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. All of my friends are so happy to have the old Kelli back, b/c I don't complain anymore, I'm always happy (of course that could be for about 4 other reasons) Haha....It's just a very nice feeling to not have that crutch anymore. I've been focusing more on Kelli and I love it. It's so good for me.



Man, I'm so happy right now. I've not been this happy in....I really couldn't tell you how long its been since I've been this happy.


I went camping with Cana, her boyfriend (joe) and Cana's brother (Josh) all weekend. It was amazing. It was so nice. I don't think I've hiked so much in my life but it was totally worth it. I got way too drunk Saturday night and puked my guts out, which quite embarassing, but it's o.k. I got to know Josh a lot better and hanging out with Cana is alwasy a total blast. I've known them both for a while now, but I've never really gotten to know Josh, and I've come to find out that he's really cool. And that's all I'm gonna say on that subject. :)


O.k. I'm going to go things are moving by themselves down here, so I'm either drunk and don't know it, not eaten enough or Dennis is back.

So my phone is fucked up. I got it and paid $50 for it not 3 weeks ago from my phone insurance and now my new phone is more fucked up than my old one. Rawr. I'm going tomorrow and going to bitch out Verizon and demand a new and different phone.


This weekend was pretty rad. Saturday sucked during the day but I made up for the suckiness that night. I had way too much fun and stayed up way too late but it was so worth it. I've not done anything like that in a very very long time. I got to irresponsible for once in a blue moon. I called way too many people and probably pissed some off, but oh well. Sorry guys. :)


Speaking of responsibility, I have to toot my own horn for a second. I don't like to do this, but I'm really proud of myself. I've gotten all of my shit together. It's a pretty awesome feeling knowing you don't have anything to really worry about b/c everything is taken care of. I like that feeling. No real drama, except for the occasional "Eric/Kelli" drama and that's even few and far between. I just kind of learned that I just have to take things as they come and deal with it, if I don't like it, then I have to do something about it instead of complaining and moping all the time and it's actually worked wonders.


I saw Lisbeth, Austin and David the other night. It was really great seeing Lisbeth and Austin.......



John is going to be 21 in about 2 weeks!!! Super excited about that. We're gonna get real drunk and it's gonna be real fun. :)


Job is still going fantabulous.



Ummm...nothing else to report.

So this past week was pretty cool. My job is going awesome. I (heart) it. It's not hard and it's part time so it's not bad at all.




We all went to go and pick up Erica on Friday night, then headed to Hooters. The waitress was hot and funny. A good combination. Bobby had a hard on the whole time.





Having some difficulties with my 15 yr. old brother. He's growing up way too fast I fear. And in doing it in church no less. Well, it makes for a good "first" story, but it's still so wrong in so many ways. Plus he's just a dumbass but whatever.




Me and Eric went to Knoxvegas on Sunday to collect on "our" winnings. No gimmicks, no catches, no nothing. The only thing we have to pay for is our airfare, which is going to be shit, but I digress. We're still going to Hawii. Hells to the yeah. Also have $500 to spend online just b/c I'm a "bride to be." HA. HA. That shit is just hilarious.



Me, Mom and mom's friend Denise are hopefully going to win $11,000 today. Hopefully. The WIVK secret sound is up to that and I'm helping mom try and get through. Mom knows the answer, we just can't get through. We've not done anything today but try and get through. Sometimes my mom is fuckin awesome. I love her. :)



Who would've ever thought that things would finally be going my way? I certainly wouldn't have. I'm maturing and getting shit done, and things at home are so much better (with the exception for Otis just b/c he's a douche and I don't talk to him b/c he's a douche). My finances are in order, I have a nest egg, I've got a much better job, and I'm not in school right now so I can't disappoint my parents with my grades. Haha. It's pretty rad.

O.k. I think that's it for now.....

So, I uh, got a free trip for two nights and three days.




The catch you say?





I have to be married. That's right, married.



Well, they think I'm married or getting married anyway. So if anyone knows how to make a fake marriage possible let me know b/c I want a free trip dammit!





HA!

Today and this past week has been absolutely amazing. My new job rocks my socks. I pretty much get paid 7.25 to sit on my ass and put phone numbers into a computer. It's pretty fuckin amazing. I work with Bree and to be honest, I'm not all that worried about it, I know how she can be but I think, I hope I can handle it and the drama that comes with her.

Erica comes home this week and I'm pretty fuckin excited about that. There's gonna be all sorts of naughtiness to go around while she's in...just b/c it's Erica and naughtiness follows her around. :)



So I'm going to get raped. There's this guy that either works/worked at Wa Ho. He lives with Johann and such, well, at first I really thought he was cool....no. Not at all. At first I just thought he was like Robert and Johann with dirty jokes....no. Not at all. At first it was really subtle, but now it's just getting really nasty and I can't get away from him. It's like he has Kelli-dar and he just shows up everywhere I am. And if he's not saying obscene things to me then he's either staring at my tits or my ass or whistling at me, it's disgusting. Like tonight, I had on my scrubs and I saw him and he made a comment about me being his nurse or something and then later tonight I was walking out and he was walking behind me and whistled, I completely ignored it, got in my car and shut the door, but he wouldn't stop and we had this conversation:

Him: Are you going to my house???
Me: No, I've got to go home.
Him: Aww....Give me your phone number and you can come over anytime you want.
Me: What??? No.
Him: Yes. Give me your number.
Me: I. Have. A. Boyfriend!
Him: Fuck your boyfriend, that doesn't matter.
(And then he said some other things that were equally as gross but you get the idea)

It's seriously just gotten progressively worse. I've told Eric about the whole thing and he's pissed. He's gonna say something to him, either that or we're gonna talk to Robert and his momma.

Anywho, besides being sexually harrassed, everything is going great! Haha. Like, my attitude toward everything is so much better. I think the whole reason I was so depressed and such a bitch to everybody is b/c of Goody's, I was absolutely miserable there. So if I was a bitch to you and I was not PMS-ing, then I am extremely sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm back to my happy-go-lucky self. :)


Well, it's like 3 in the morning and I need to go to bed.

I have a new J.O.B. and it's not at Goody's!!! My last day is Saturday so if anybody wants to come and wish farewell and good luck, I work 2-11 on Sat. I'll be working with Bree (Eric's sis), she'll actually be like my supervisor...which is cool.




I had to pass a piss test yesterday for my new job. I drank 1 gallon of water within 1 1/2 hours the night before. I found out the next day that if you drink a gallon or more within an hour you can actually drown from the inside out. That's real nice to know. Haha. Bree just called me and scared the shit out of me, my results are back in and she said everything was negatory...thank GOD!




Everything is goin good. I got my hair did yesterday, it's hot. It's red, brown and blonde. It's funky and hot. :)



I'm done.

Holy hell...it's been a long time. Lots o stuff has happened.



I got $5000 from that wreck Bobby made me have.



I went to Georgia and saw my family and had a blast.



I got an interview at a medical laboratory, and I may get the job. *crosses fingers* Wish me luck!



Ummmm.....that's about it.



I didn't really feel like writing but I felt obilgated to let everyone know that I"m not dead and what all has been going on as of late.


That's it for now.

Not a lot has happened since I last updated. Me and Eric celebrated our 3 year anniversary, which it's not technically 3 years b/c I dated someone else in one of the many spans that we were broken up...but that's o.k. It was nice anyway.

I have a patch on my ass now....it's pretty awesome. Although....I don't really know why I need it. If you were me, you'd totally understand.


Ummmm......John's mom hates me.



I'm quitting Goody's...as soon as I can find another job. Ideas anyone???


I got some really hot new icons and redid my lj. Yeah...I've been bored.


Took a month off of "being bad" and celebrated that month with....well, being bad. I don't really remember if it was fun or not.


My aunt died and my mamaw pissed herself in front of the preacher cause she farted.


Eric went to the beach for the first time in his life and ended up on MTV for a sec.


Ready for the summertime.


Doodlebop.

Soooo...I judged G-burg this weekend, saw Ivan, and got yet another tattoo, that's right, I saw Ivan. :)

Gatlinburg was pretty amazing actually apart from the fact that I had to room with a woman that I had never met and had to share a bed with her....it was not hot. The team did absolutely amazing, I have to give myself a little bit of credit simply b/c I gave a bunch of my favorites a present to help them and most of them broke...it was pimp. They got first in IE sweeps and first overall. I met the most amazing woman on the face of the planet. Thank you Mrs. Exxon Valdiiizz and other random Brentwood High women for making my weekend a little more interesting.

I got to see Ivan this weekend and it was hot as usual. He is and always will be my favorite. *kisses, hugs and random humps go out to you Ivan*

I got another tattoo yesterday. It's hot, definately hot. Sierra got one to. It was her first, my third. That's right numero tres (pronounce trace, I said that b/c I don't know how to spell it b/c I may or may not be a dumbass, the jury is still out on that one.) It's a little moon with little lines that come out from it. It's on my side and it didn't really hurt until he did the top and then I could feel it all the way up to my ribs. It's quite cute, but I didn't get it b/c it was cute, I got it in memory of my mamaw who died about 3 years ago of cancer. We were really close and she always used to tell me, if I was upset or if she was mad at me, she would say, "I'm gonna...POW RIGHT TO THE MOON!!" and it would always make me laugh, and then she would laugh. It's one of the very best memories I have of her, so now I have a moon on my side to remember her by. I absolutely love it!

Me and Eric celebrated out 3 year anniversary tonight. We went to Copper Cellar and it was fantabulous. The date was amazing. I can't believe its been 3 years already. We talked quite a bit about our relationship and it was really good...really really good. (WARNING: MUSHY GUSHY MOMENT) I love him muchly...

Well, I'm goin to bed.